Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples

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I am an ICEEFT certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist – (International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy). 
Couples Therapy can help you:
  • understand your own and your partner’s emotions

  • understand the emotions that fuel your behaviors

  • understand your pursuing and withdrawing behavior is the coping strategy that has gotten you stuck

  • identify the repeating negative cycles

  • change conversation

  • discover new ways to connect and to find deeper intimacy

  • create safety and security for better communication

  • establish permanent change through positive relational tool 

What does EFT Couples Therapy Look Like?

The EFT model has a clear road map for you!  Session time is 60-minutes, and we would need about 12 to 20 sessions.  If you have a history of trauma, the process might take longer.  Ultimately, we want couples to have a closer bond, and feel secure and safe in communicating. The following shows you what to expect in the stages of couples therapy.

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Stage 1

De-Escalation

1. Understanding your core conflicts and struggles.

2. Understanding your negative cycle.

3. Understanding the hidden emotions driving you to fight and argue.

4. Seeing the bigger picture of your problems by understanding the        emotions behind you and your partner's behaviors.

Stage 2:

Begin Change & Deepen Engagement

5. Deeper understanding of hidden emotions and needs in your relationship.

6. Being able to hear your partner's emotional needs and accept them.

7. Experiencing better communication by reaching for your partner and            creating bonding and closeness.

Stage 3:

Consolidation

8. Experiencing new solutions to old problems.

9. Consolidate new positions and cycles of close bonding.

Why Attachment Matters:

I work with a strategy called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), which was developed by Dr. Sue Johnson. EFT is based on attachment theory. Attachment is relevant to all humans. Because we are human, we want to belong and we have a strong longing for connection. When these longings aren’t met, we run into pain and fear, which automatically triggers the fight-or-flight response. In these frantic moments, we end up interacting in ways that leave us feeling disconnected and lonely.

Why Emotion Matters:

Emotions EFT focuses on the emotional bond between couples. Emotions contain the message of needs, and motivation to act. EFT uses emotion as a primary source of information to the self and to others about needs and motives.  Research shows that when we know our partner is accessible, responsive, and engaged we feel secure. When we have a secure connection, we can be a resource for each other.  When we are afraid, anxious, hurt, or distressed, this secure connection helps us take care of other daily challenges, like doing daily tasks, problem-solving, and parenting issues. I will help you to know how to deal with your emotions and how to interact and connect with each other.

Additional Resources about EFT